From the Top to the Bottom

One of the quirks of my personality is that I tend to suffer from Post-Big-Event-Blues. When the end comes to something that I have pointed my life toward, I get a bit depressed. I think there are two aspects to this feeling. The first is physical. When you need it, the adrenaline flows. When you don't, it stops. So it's actually sort of like drug withdrawal. (This potential physical aspect leads my ADHD coach to suggest that this tendency is possibly more common among ADHD people.)

The second is psychological. No matter how well an event goes, when it is done I think, Is that it? Is there no way to keep this going? Perhaps it's a bit of selfishness--an inability to have something good without wanting more. But it's a real feeling.

Last Tuesday was my big Dissertation Forum. It was the last step in becoming a Ph.D. (it's now DOCTOR Bob to you--joke.) I got to present my findings to an audience of peers (both other grad students and faculty) along with family and friends. For 45 minutes, all the attention was fixed on the presentation of my work.

And it was a lot of work to put it together. Besides the obvious work to write the dissertation, I had to boil it down to a 30 minute presentation. What's more, I dedicated myself to communicating it to people who don't understand the technical field. I had a power point presentation that walked everyone through it that took quite a few hours to prepare.

It went well. I presented the material simply and passionately. Everyone understood it and complimented me on it. Afterward my advisor took Tina and me out to dinner.

And then it was over. There have been times in my life when I would spiral down into a dark mood. But since I recognize my tendency, I was determined not to go down that path this time. I don't know how anyone else faces this, but what works the best for me is forcing myself to get busy on the next task. I had to work early the next morning, but the first thing I did when I had some time to myself was to make a list of what I want to do now. And then I got started on them.

So for me the secret to coming down from the completion of one big challenge is to have the next new challenge to face. So far, it's working.