Life and Death

It is with real sadness that I interrupt the post that I was writing for this one. I just received news that a woman who I worked with a little and knew only in a peripheral sense is dead. I am very sad as I liked this woman and enjoyed the minimal contact that we had. It would be unfair to say that i am in deep mourning, however, as I did not know her that well.

However, those who are around me today are in mourning and the dark gloomy day has deepened.

I understand death in theory and theologically. The reality of it is hard for me to grasp, however. Someone who I saw a couple of days ago is not coming back, ever. I looked in at her workspace and just stared for a few moments, realizing that i will never again see her there or anywhere else.

Sometimes it is when that realization becomes concrete that it really hits home. My mother died in May of 1990. I missed her terribly, but in some way it didn't become real to me until August. That month Tina, who was six weeks pregnant, miscarried. I left her overnight at the hospital and came home. Upon entering the house the first thing I did was walk over to the phone and pick it up. I was going to call my mom. All of a sudden the enormity that I would not see her in this life hit me. It was a sad moment.

I grieve today for my friends here at the library who knew this woman more than I did and are in deep mourning. I hope I can be a comfort to them at this time. All the other things I have going to day just lost their importance in the mystery of life and death.