You've heard the old jokes: I had a great sex life and then I got married. Or the little boy who wrote this definition of a widow: Someone who lived with her husband so long that he died.
Among people who have been married multiple times there is a new term: serial monogamy. In other words, being faithful to one person in a relationship at a time. When that relationship fails, you are faithful to the next one.
I guess serial monogamy is better than infidelity anytime, but people who have not been married to one person for a long time are missing out on some wonderful joys.
Today is my anniversary. Tina and I have now been married 28 years. One of the pleasures of being married this long is that I have got to watch her change and grow close-up.
When we got married, Tina was a 19-year old. She smiled a lot and laughed at my jokes. We played games and did silly things. Then came children and she grew into a young mother. It was all good.
Then, in her mid-to-late thirties, she began to change. One day, without discussing it with me, she went out and got a job (a good thing, as it turned out). On that job, she advanced and gained a lot of confidence. In her early forties, she got a tattoo (and one more just recently). She got her license and last year bought a motorcycle (by herself, since I don't ride).
These things are a bit superficial, but they are emblems of a deeper reality: She has grown into a much more interesting person than I married. And not only is she more interesting, I got to go along for the ride.
And that, among other things, are what people who don't hang on to their marriages never get to experience. They experience a spouse at certain times of their life, but not through the growth times. And it is a joy to do so.
It will be interesting to see what the next 28 years bring.
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