Jon & Kate

Was anyone really surprised that Jon and Kate are "separating" (code word for divorce--there is no chance that either one of them are going to do what is necessary to put this marriage back together)? I don't even watch the show and I knew it was inevitable.

Flashback to the early seventies when PBS broadcast a show called "An American Family" which chronicled the daily life of the Loud family of Santa Barbara. During the filming, the wife and mother Pat Loud told her husband Bill that she wanted a divorce. I don't know how long filming went on (the show itself was edited down to 12 weeks) so it's hard to say just how much the intrusiveness of filming contributed to their break-up. But it obviously didn't help.

I haven't seen but a couple of minutes of the show (most of my info comes from my wife) so I am not taking sides between Jon and Kate in this mess. Neither do I think that it is the scrutiny of the gossip magazines (though they are vile) that caused the breakup. All they did was chronicle a marriage that was on the rocks already.

According to a clip I heard, the couple absolved the TV show of an blame in their problems. Of course they said that!!! What else could they say about the people who have been responsible for making them rich, if unhappy, these past five years?

There is no guarantee that this marriage would have survived anyway; the divorce rate is quite high. But consider these factors: (1) Though each of them has their faults and quirks, how does being on TV affect that? For example, would she be so annoyingly controlling (as I am told) if she didn't feel the need to present the family in such a good light for TV? (2) The pressures of constantly filming a TV show in your house must be immense. Pressure often breaks relationships. (3) With the TV show buying them whatever they want, they have obviously lost touch with real life. (4) Can someone tell me if Jon has a job or not? How can he afford to spend so much time away from the family with other women if he is working? Idle hands etc...

So if the show is at fault, how do families like the Osbornes or Kardashians or Simmonses survive? Easy. They are not ordinary people. They are already comfortable in the public eye. They have some experience in manipulating their image. And those shows are much more scripted than they want you to know. I stopped on the Gene Simmons show for a moment the other day and as they were sitting in the kitchen someone said, "We should ask (whoever) about that." Two seconds later the person in question enters the kitchen door. Tell me that was a coincidence.

I feel bad for this couple. Even if she is a shrew and even if he is an adulterer, divorce is a painful thing to go through. And they can point fingers at all the people or circumstances they want. But I will always be convinced that the seed for the end of their marriage were sown the day they invited the cameras into their house.

Think about your family. Could your marriage or relationships with your children survive the ever-present camera? As committed as I am to my family, I don't know that I could.